In Good Conscience
by Sithstrukk
Summary: He had betrayed her. He had used that last minute tactic to unearth one of her biggest disagreements on traditional Jedi beliefs. And the man was unorthodox himself! She was disgusted-she didn't tell one lie to the panel, and was so close to making it.


**Special thanks to The Tenth Bright Shiner for beta reading!**

They came out of nowhere. They acted so fast. A group of well-connected terrorists were gathered just outside of Republic space. They hailed from every corner of the galaxy with common goals; to spread terror and gain power.

Coruscant was in hysterics as reports of violence and mayhem filled the holonet. Jedi were being dispatched to sort out the chaos and gather information. They reached the Jedi Council, and they all said one thing: they were too tight knit. They couldn't send in a squad of Jedi, or even a Jedi team.

This didn't dissuade the Council, and they proposed to send one Jedi in-alone.

The Senate grew frenzied at this. The thought of one Jedi bringing down a huge faction was bleak. Senators fought for their way, and naturally, they got it.

They wanted the Jedi to deal with it like the Senate would. They wanted a panel made up of Jedi of many backgrounds. They wanted a fully capable Jedi to be chosen, but also a dispensable one, in harsh terms. Tahl knew all this. She was knighted a few years ago. As a Padawan she had left many of her classes in the top ranks. She was an experienced, independent Knight; excelling at code-breaking and interrogating. This mission required all that and more-and on a more dangerous level.

Tahl was prepared for all that. Her yearning to go on the mission was not Jedi like, but perhaps the panel would recognize her willingness as preparedness. She strode into a conference room for the interview with the panel. She looked for familiar faces among them. She let herself smile as she saw the most familiar face of all.

Qui-Gon Jinn sat back in his chair, grinning at her entrance. He was also newly knighted and was developing a reputation as a rule breaker. The panel was certainly diverse.

"Now." An Ithorian Master cleared his throat. "Tahl. Age 29, Jedi Knight. Correct?"

"Yes," Tahl replied. She kept her tone respectful and met no one's gaze; some of them were already probing her inner thoughts and feelings with the Force. Qui-Gon was tugging on her brain as if to test her concentration. But when she glanced up at him, he averted his eyes.

"And you are aware of the numerous... implications and threats this mission has?" A nasally voice from the other end of the table prompted.

Tahl could have rolled her eyes. It wasn't a Jedi. It was the Senate's representative. _Of course; because they just love getting involved in Jedi affairs_, she thought. Remembering the many beings trying to investigate her mind, she let it go blank again. "Yes, sir," she said.

After that, the panel members took turns asking her questions on a variety of topics. Her expertise, past experiences, motives, and views of the Force where all interrogated. It could not have been better; Tahl sensed them growing more and more satisfied with her answers as the session went on. The Senate's representative looked positive. All the others didn't visibly betray anything.

The session reached a close.

The Ithorian began, "thank you Ta-"

"Tahl." Qui-Gon interrupted the elder's dismissal, all bold and maverick. "Do you believe in destiny?"

Tahl's heart nearly stopped. The Council members remembered that. Her focus lapsed. The Masters took note of that. She took a long, hesitant moment to reply. The Knights wouldn't forget that.

"No." She answered without a shred of her usual confidence, but with full honesty. "No, I do not think we are governed-"

"That is all I ask," Qui-Gon said softly. Tahl couldn't meet his eyes; dark and serious.

She was dismissed. Once outside she could breathe, and began mentally kicking herself. She relaxed too soon-that was something she would never do. Destiny was something most of the Jedi believed in. They thought it was governed by the Force. Tahl was more critical, but she kept to herself about it. It wasn't a very popular view, and as a result Qui-Gon was one of few who knew about it.

He had betrayed her. He had used that last minute tactic to unearth one of her biggest disagreements on traditional Jedi beliefs. And the man was unorthodox himself! She was disgusted-she didn't tell one lie to the panel, and was so close to making it.

She was so wound up in her own thoughts as she tried to force herself into meditation, she barely noticed when Qui-Gon Jinn let himself into her quarters and was standing before her. Too disappointed and shocked at him to get mad, she simply stood. He lifted his hand and gestured as if to let her speak first.

After a second Tahl consented. "Why'd you do that?" she asked weakly. "Jinn, you know how hard I worked."

"I had to," he said simply. "This mission is extremely important to so many. It could reshape everything-"

"-Or things could stay the same," Tahl interjected.

"That is a possibility," Qui-Gon continued. "But knowingly and in good conscience, I couldn't send in someone to represent the Jedi who didn't trust in one of their biggest beliefs."

Tahl bit back a nasty retort. She was getting this lecture from someone free-minded enough to tell her information the panel was supposed to keep to themselves. "That will be the view of the panel as a whole," she said tartly. "But I doubt that's your only reason." She had caught him in a corner; something she was unwilling to do. Too late to back down now.

"I'm not supposed to discuss this," Qui-Gon said sharply.

"But you already have."

"The candidate may, if they wish, view the panel's explanation-"

"You can stop quoting your kriffin' guidelines." Tahl rose and went to stand by the window, fixing her eyes on Coruscant's traffic. "You did what you had to do." With a mouthful of sarcasm, she added, "Congratulations. You're a model Knight."

To her surprise, he followed her to the window. He hovered just behind her so she would have no choice but to turn and acknowledge him if she wanted a proper conversation. But she didn't turn around. So he confessed, "Perhaps my reasons were deeper and personal, Tahl. Perhaps I couldn't send you into danger in good conscience."

Tahl softened a fraction. He was telling the truth; she knew so much. And it was, like he said, in good conscience… even if he was a selfish friend.

"Thank you," she said, in good conscience.


End file.
